We are made for intimacy. We are conceived through an intimate act of loving, in which the passionate sharing of sexual oneness gives life to a child. We grow in intimacy, first within the body of our mother and later under the shelter of our family. We live in intimacy in a society that is crafted around our interaction with others in spiritual, social, educational, entertainment, and career settings.

And yet... Intimacy is often deeply painful, and we find ourselves in full retreat from it, avoiding trust, transparency, and love. We isolate ourselves and live in autonomy until the pain of loneliness forces us to risk our hearts with others again. We treat the wounds with Prozac or therapy or self-help books from the latest guru. They cover the injury, but later, when we peek underneath, the hole is still there. Sure, these band-aids are great, often even necessary for healing. But the real medicine, the thing that finally brings healing, is love, love from God, love from our friends, love from ourselves.

It's easy to live in duality. intimacy in marriage or friendship, but not at work; intimacy in recreation, but not in education; intimacy in culture, but not in spirituality. Too often, spirituality is offered in a way that demands an unnatural intimacy. The religious community demands a quick decision, immediate and unquestioned following, and unflinching acceptance of some four-inch-thick tome of theological "truth".  We try to force the curious to give their ascent to our propositions with giving anyone the chance to verify the truth (or falsehood) of them first. How asinine and arrogant!

The result is that we force ourselves, and anyone who might be curious, into isolation and turn the class field-trip into a lonely walk in the dark: alone we look at stars or play in the snow; alone we are deeply moved by a movie or song; alone we ponder the great questions of life. And that is silly too. Perhaps we need a synthesis, a place where we can belong before we believe, a place to ask questions and dialogue instead of debate, and a place where we can share the awkward poetry of our search for God with others who share the search.

God is love. And we who have been adopted into God's family share the family tradition of love, intimacy, transparency, honesty, and hope that he provides. Not that we love perfectly, in fact our inability to love drives us to humility, begging the One who loves us so deeply to change us, heal us, and renovate our hearts to make the more capable vessels of His love. He responds by renewing us by His love, and we reach out again to grow as lovers, to follow the path of Jesus in seeking friendship with all.

"And if I built this fortress, around your heart,
Encircled you in trenches, and barbed wire,
Then let me build a bridge, for I cannot fill the chasm,
And let me set your battlements on fire!"
- Sting